September is here, how the heck did that happen? If your year is moving in the same manner as mine, time is speeding by. As this month leads us to the end of summer, it is important to pause and acknowledge the beauty that is the change of seasons. Perks of the change in weather include cool breezes in the morning, leaves changing colors and endless excuses to buy that new pair of boots on sale.

Beyond the typical four seasons you learned in school – summer, spring, fall, and winter- other seasons often themed by your relationship views are just as important in the life of a young professional. These additional seasons may include hot girl summer, hot nerd fall and (most importantly to some) cuffing season.   

Which brings me to this slightly commentary filled recap of ULGA-YP’s “How to Cruise Through Cuffing Season” September General Body Meeting (GBM). Drs. Alduan and Mecca Tartt, married relationship experts, served as our insightful and dynamic speakers. As previous underground matchmakers, they were well-suited to guide us through the complex dynamics of dating in Atlanta.

I must be honest in stating I was NOT excited about this session. My personal forays in dating are the types of struggles producers of Lifetime, Dateline and possibly Snapped would all be interested in pulling storylines from. So it goes without saying, I am out of the dating game until further notice. However, in efforts to open my mind (please read in Smokey from Friday voice for emphasis) I made an effort to attend this particular GBM to learn more about what my re-entry to dating may look like. Drs. Alduan and Mecca Tartt provided valuable tips on how to navigate the dating kiddie pool once I get ready to stick my big toe in (p.s. I cannot swim so don’t think I am shading kiddie pools they are actually my jam).

Alduan and Mecca began the session with framing three key pillars of dating successfully: preparation, positioning and practice. When describing each pillar, Alduan and Mecca kept us on track by sharing their honestly hilarious, and sometimes hurtful dating experiences. Mecca shared that more than 70% of Atlanta young professionals identify as single and what that really means. For instance, is the person you are dating  “really” dating you (drops mic to pause and let you think about that)……

The dating pillar that I enjoyed most was positioning. Mecca and Alduan challenged us to “take action to position yourself in dating.” From my perspective, I thought I was well positioned but in reflection I could do A LOT better when that dating kiddie pool calls my name again. In this self-love, date yourself and Netflix binge-watching era, if many of us are honest, our future significant other may need some type of burglary, trespassing tendencies to find us. Hence, finding ways to ensure you are getting out of the house is key to dating success. So basically, when you do give up that Netflix binge watch session, where are you going? Tips on “positioning” included strategically attending events structured around locating the type of person you are interested in meeting. How this looks practically might be volunteering for a conference that attracts young professionals or stepping outside of your comfort zone to attend networking events that may attract your potential spouse.

When transitioning to practice, the third pillar of dating, Alduan and Mecca also highlighted how most of us are not dating enough. Which interestingly aligns with a recent article characterizing millennials as the un-sexed “later love” generation.  Alduan pointed out the importance of practice particularly in the dating area. He described that when viewing his weekly calendar if he didn’t have enough dates lined up he was proactive in arranging more to ensure he was working to find his perfect match. When discussing patience in dating, the Tartt’s were quick to point out that finding the perfect match takes time and how we should be willing to be patient in the process.

Even for someone out the dating game like me and considering retiring my jersey, the September GBM gave me more than enough to consider on my time off. As I bench warm and study my next “position,” Drs. Mecca and Alduan Tartt have assisted me in developing clear and concise strategies on how to enter the world of Atlanta dating with intention and purpose. So basically, when I blow the dust off my dating jersey expect a No. 23 level re-entry.

Special thanks to Mary Upshaw and Goodwill of North Atlanta for serving as our wonderful host for the September GBM.  

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